Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Today was the first day back. Well, the first half-day back. It was good enough to give me stomach pains for quite a while. I was never this nervous to go back to school, not on the first day of grade 9, nor last year, but today......ugh. I felt as if I was going to vomit at any second the whole time, I was nervous about getting my schedule...I dont' know what it was. Maybe it was a gut feeling that it wasn't going to be so good. Non-traditional art is a grade 11/12 course, and there are only, like.....2 or maybe 3 other grade 11s in the class, and I know none of them. Our teacher (who was my math teacher last year. Make your own budget jokes) said about how the first unit we're doing is installation, and the next is performance art. And next class is a discussion. I don't do well in discussions. I have no initiative, and I enjoy speaking in a near-whisper. And I hate performance art. I think it is pretentious, that the people who do it are vain, stupid, and think too highly of themselves. I mean, you can sit on a chair and call it art. Sitting on a chair without speaking is not art, if it were then I would be a walking, talking, breathing, living art piece. I should be put in a gallery and have someone critisize me.
And simply the word "installation" scares me. Frankly, the whole class scares me. I wanted Graphic Design, but noooo, they didn't offer it this year. Why? I don't know, I'm sure that if they looked they'd be able to find another teacher to teach the class, but they were too lazy, and the school sucks. The video portion of that class won't suck, nor will.....well, the class itself wont' suck. Just the first two units and the year-long, summative installation project.
All the other classes I've had so far aren't so bad. Tomorrow's classes (I expect) will be better. I'm mostly waiting for my Film/Video class. The teacher is nice, I am told, and it's the thing I want to do for a living, so...I'll be learning stuff? I dont' know, I'm just waiting for that class. And Drama Production. I'm hoping for a role in the play, rather than a tech role, but either will be okay I guess. Wait, I just realised that, in a dramatic change from the last two years, my Day 1 schedule will be so much more bearable than my Day 2 schedule. Weird.
I have the same teacher for english than I did in grade 9 (yipee!). I like her, and she likes me, and she shows Kurt & Courtney for the conspiracy theory unit. And she's a fairly easy teacher, I barely did anything in that class and still managed an 80-something, so this year I'll be working hard and I'll get better (I hope).
Oh, and in my Civics class, I'm seated directly behind the kid I had a major crush on in grade 9. I spent most of the class staring at the back of his head and asking myself: why, and how, exactly did you ever like him? The rest of the time, I spent hoping that the stupid tweety bird wasn't thrown at me (The tweety bird was this game the teacher came up with. You throw it around and when you catch it, you have to say your name and something interesting about yourself. I didn't want to get it because a) I didn't want to speak aloud and b) I'm not all that interesting).
Okay, so that is all I can think of about the first half-day of school. Not the best day, and my stomach is still churning at the thought that I'll have six hours of it on Thursday. Tomorrow as well, but I don't know if my Day 1 classes will be as nauseating as these ones were.
Braided at 4:07 PM